Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Good Grief!

Had a great holiday weekend. Good times were had. A BBQ at Jess's, yummy lunch at Good Earth, drag show at the 90s, saw Indiana Jones with friends, avoided tornadoes (other parts of MN weren't so lucky), dinner and dessert with Kelsey and Leaf and spent some quality time with Pfunk and our new rat babies!

We even took some time to give the apartment a thorough scrubbing. I tackled the bathroom while Pfunk did the kitchen, living room and bedroom. I know it doesn't seem fair, but I was really going to town on that bathroom (I mopped the ceiling for crying out loud). It took me as long to do the bathroom as it did for her to do the rest of the apartment.

After a great weekend, it was difficult to want to go back to work this morning. This feeling was reinforced by the fact that I really didn't sleep well last night. I woke up almost every hour all night. I hit snooze as many times as I could possibly justify and the first thing I did upon waking up was prepare a pot of coffee. Left the kitchen to get ready. Came back into the kitchen with dreams of relaxing with a cup of coffee and the internet for ten minutes before I had to leave for work.

When I saw it.

A river of coffee cascading down the countertop, the side of a cabinet and onto the floor where it was centimeters from making its way under the fridge. Fuck! Pfunk's pristine kitchen tainted and my relaxing ten minutes gone! I have a coffee maker that can either fill 2 travel mugs or a regular pot with coffee. So it has this double spout where the coffee drips from. Only one of the spouts was actually making it into the pot. Fuck!

Half a roll of paper towels later, I had mopped up the coffee off the floor before it reached the abyss under the fridge and thought my coffee catastrophe was remedied. That's when I realized that coffee had not only been running over the top of the cabinet door, but also under the cabinet door into the cabinet itself. What do I keep in said cabinet? Dishes that are easily rinsed off? Of course not. No, it is where I keep my art supplies. Fuck!

At first I thought the coffee was only on the very edge of the top shelf. Realized pretty quickly it was soaking a bunch of materials, including paper and books, on both shelves. Everything on both shelves had to be taken out (getting coffee on the floor I had just finished cleaning). At which point I ran out of paper towels and discovered my girlfriend had moved the extra paper towels when she was cleaning and I had no idea where they were. I think it was at this point that I actually threw a temper tantrum. I literally clenched my fists and jumped up and down while screaming "Fuck. Are you fucking kidding me?!?".

After my little pity party, I got my wits about me. I remembered there were more paper towels in the linen closet. I threw away the really soggy stuff and tossed the rest in the sink to sort through later. Everything else was strewn about the floor and kitchen table while I left the cabinets open to air out. I kissed Pfunk goodbye, who had wisely stayed in bed despite waking up from the sound of my curses. I implored her to ignore the state of the kitchen with promises that I'd take care of it after work, and left for the office.

Not a great start to what is essentially a Monday morning given that yesterday was Memorial Day.

One bonus to this whole fiasco: In the midst of hurling my art supplies willy nilly across the kitchen, I uncovered some 21 Jumpstreet trading cards mixed with with some paper. As it turns out, Pfunk just ordered Season One of 21 Jumpstreet off of Netflix. So I stuck the trading cards on the inside of her locker as a surprise.


Bird said...

Do you remember slapping my ass before you left that morning as well... I can't remember what i thought at the time but I know now. ;-) Sorry bout the paper towels they are now above the fridge now!

Schmiddy said...

Holy coffee suckiness! That's not a word but you know what I mean. I hope everything dried out okay.

CoryQ said...

Are you going to keep some of the coffee stained paper to make a project out of?

And I thought my "Dune" Trading cards were cool!

Smitty said...

@bird - You said something along the lines of "sorry you are having a shitty morning luv." So I said, "So you heard me cursing in the kitchen and didn't come help me?!". Then I smacked you on the bee-hind.

@Schmid - Everything dried out okay. It all seemed much worse in the moment than it really was.

@CoryQ - Nope - the items that were really soaked were magazines and magazine clippings, so they pretty much fell apart.