Friday, December 09, 2005

You know Smitty is depressed when...

...it's December and she hasn't written a single blog entry since October. I'd like to say I haven't written because I've been so insanely busy with my wild and exciting life. But alas, it is because I've morphed into one of those Zoloft blobs. I've entered this fuzzy mind-state where I tune out and fester. Hard to be creative and write when making a concerted effort to not be conscious of anything that might trigger despair, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like a big loser, etc (AKA avoiding life in its entirety). Those of you that know me know this is nothing new, I've had these bouts of depression and/or anxiety for a long time. But even though I know I've gotten better in the past, it always feels impossible to fix when it comes back. But I'm working on it and getting help for it. I'm not sure I ever had any faithful jerky touniquet readers, but if you are still out there, just wanted to check in and let know what the hold ups been all about. If anyone has any suggestions, or wants to stroke my withering ego, post a comment will ya?

2 comments:

crazy j said...

It's good to see an entry...and entry is an entry....that is what I am telling myself this moring....we'll see if I write something today :) Glad to see you did though.

Anonymous said...

Hey beautiful,

I'm a faithful reader. Want to get a cup of tea or a beer sometime?

Love,
Caitlin